The First Cut Fanfic Relay
by sillybillyxo
Summary: What do you get when a bunch of Grey's obsessed, porny minded, and straight up hilarious girls try to write a fanfic together? This. Centers around Lexzie & Maddison. All couples & characters involved. Read it if you'd like to die laughing. ♡♡♡
1. Chapter 1

This fanfic was written by:

Sarah , sillybillyxo, keezbie, Maybelline1802, Jessica JoLyne, & addisonkatefan of The First Cut message board. Link is here: http://thefirstcut . proboards105 . com . Just remove the spaces...Yeah, we are the best board ever pretty much.

Basically, it was a fanfic relay in which each of us took turns adding to it. It's pretty crazy and ridiculous, but wow, some of it is just sooo funny, I thought I should post it here. Please enjoy! And leave a review telling us how silly we are.

Oh, whenever you see a '♡♡♡', it's a new author ;)

* * *

Part 1: The Plan

It was another rainy morning in Seattle. Alex Karev always hated the rain, but that morning he was feeling particularly tense, so he decided he would jog to work nonetheless. He was so confused about last night. Addison had kissed him, and then pretty much bolted out of Joe's leaving him stunned. What did this mean? And how was he supposed to work with her now? At least before, after the almost kiss in the NCIU, he could pretend like it didn't happen and push past... but now? He wasn't so sure.

He reached the hospital and came to a halt, wiping beads of sweat off his forehead as he entered the locker room. He was about to go get changed into his scrubs, until he was distracted by the girls fighting. "Women," Alex thought as he rolled his eyes. But then he stopped... they were talking about him! Alex strained to hear... what were they saying about him?

"Alex kissed me a while ago. I miss him"

That must have been Izzie of course. He strained his body to hear more.

"You kissed Alex? You miss him?" Meredith said

"Thank god Izzie, you finally got over Denny. You didn't even KNOW him." Cristina said, her voice, as usual, dripping with sarcasm, which seemed to be in a great supply since she still hadn't spoke to Burke.

Alex was getting impatient, he was already late listening to this conversation and now they weren't even talking about him.

"Cristina!" Meredith said with a warning tone. "So anyways, you miss him?"

"Yeah, I do. You know, he was so sweet. Well, when he wasn't being an ass."

Abruptly, the door opened with Callie.

"I'm not here!" She whispered to the other girls and ran into a bathroom stall.

Alex walked in nonchalantly. Smiling briefly at Izzie, his mind was racing. She misses me? But what about Addison? What was that kiss all about anyways? His thoughts were quickly disturbed by George O'Malley coming in excitedly through the door.

♡♡♡

"Have you seen Callie? I need her for something."

Isobel Stevens blinked. She was vaguely aware that her best friend George was speaking... but her thoughts were directed elsewhere as she watched Alex walk into the room. Trying not to drool, she straight out ogled him as he removed his hoodie. He was wearing a black wife beater, his sculpted arms beaded with sweat. God, he was gorgeous. And smart, and adorable, and... she mentally scolded herself. Her boyfriend had just died 3 months ago, and here she was, yet again, pining for her ex.

Suddenly realizing she was staring, she snapped her attention back to George. She almost blushed, remembering her run in with him and Callie this morning. Oh well, it's not like she hadn't seen him naked before.

"Uhm, you just missed her," Izzie shrugged. "What did you need?"

George lit up. He grabbed Izzie's arm and lead her to the corner of the room, where no one else could hear. "Okay, do you promise not to say anything?"

Izzie nodded. "Of course not. I'm your best friend George. Durr."

George beamed and dug around in his jeans pocket. Out of them, he withdrew a little black box.

"I'm gonna ask Callie to marry me."

♡♡♡

Izzie had to practically pick her jaw up off the floor as she tried to comprehend what George had just said.

"You're what?!" Izzie yelled, unable to control her shock and the volume of her voice.  
George jumped and quickly grabbed Izzie by the arm, dragging her outside the locker room door and leaving behind a room full of confused looking interns.

"George," Izzie was now in complete denial of the whole situation. "You can't be serious. Is this some kind of, weird joke? I mean you have been acting, kinda... weird lately. Rather nympho-like really. "

George starred at Izzie with a hint of hurt and confusion in his eyes. "No this isn't a joke Iz. You think I'd joke about something like this?" George then surveyed the empty hallway to make sure no one was watching and proceeded to slowly open the little black box, revealing a simple but magnificent diamond oval-shaped ring. Izzie's eyes threatened to pop out of her head.

"Holy ass!" She swiped the box out of George's hand. "You're not joking." She took the ring out of the box to examine it closer. "But, George. I don't get it. This is so, fast and unexpected. What... why?"

George thought about bringing up her record-breaking engagement to a man she had only known a couple weeks but decided he has better not bring up Denny with her again for awhile.

"Why? Because she's amazing. And, she gets me better than anyone. Well besides you of course, but... also, she loves me. And... we have great sex. So, it just, makes sense. I mean why not Iz?"

"Why not?! George! That is your best explanation for this? Why not?" Izzie found herself getting angry over sometime she knew she shouldn't be. It was her best friend's engagement for heaven's sake. But she just couldn't shake the idea that George was making a huge mistake. She looked at George and saw that her reaction was completely killing his after-sex, pre-popping the question glow so she softened the tone of her voice and looked her best friend in the eye.

"George... I'm sorry. I just, listen. If you love her then... " She hesitated, still trying to shake the little voice in her head that told her she should still try to talk him out of this. "Then who am I to say you shouldn't ask the woman you love to marry you, right? I mean, you do love her, don't you?"

After a slight hesitation, George had just opened his mouth to answer when out of nowhere Bailey rounded the nearest corner and stopped abruptly in front of George and Izzie. Izzie suddenly remembered she was holding George's ring in her hand and she quickly slipped the box into her right lab coat pocket.

"What are you doing at the hospital O'Malley? Izzie get in there and tell rest of those thumbsuckers I want rounds done... now." Bailey eyed both of her interns for a moment and when neither of them moved or said anything, she let out a frustrated sigh. "Izzie... rounds. Now. Do it naaaow!"

Izzie quickly swung open the door and walked directly into Alex Karev who was just getting read to open the door. They bumped heads, hard.

"Ooowww. Dammmnit." Alex rubbed the spot where he had bumped heads with whoever had came running at him from the other side of the door. He hadn't looked to see who it was and when he finally saw Izzie on the floor, his cheeks turned a light red color.

"Oh shit. Iz are you alright?" He reached out a hand to help her up. Apparently their collision had been enough for her to end up sprawled out on the ground.

♡♡♡

Alex stared at Izzie on the ground, her golden ringlets splayed about beautifully. Of course, then he realized he had knocked her over, and made a motion to help her up. Reaching his hand down he pulled her up a little to close to his face, and he could see a slight blush form on her cheeks. "Umm, what the balls?" Alex thought. "Why is she blushing?"

"Shit, sorry Iz, you okay?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. But she just kind of stammered out something about being fine and ran off. "Okay, that was weird," he thought to himself as he continued down the hall. Apparently, god hated him today, because he was assigned to work with Sloane. Awkward much? He really had no idea what to do. Normally, it would have been alright. Except for the fact that he had just kissed his boss's ex-girlfriend last night. Alex hitched in his breathe and went off to get Mark's usual morning coffee, but on his way, he ran into someone.

Izzie went to find Addison who, by the stroke of some cruel fate, she had been assigned too. Izzie sighed. Her luck was so bad, it was as if it was being carefully planned out by a very, very evil fanfic writer. Then she rounded the corner and saw Addison browsing a chart at the nurses station, in all her leggy glory. But, gaspgasp ...she wasn't alone. There she stood. And she was talking to Alex. _Her_ Alex! Izzie scolded herself, she was going to have to get used to seeing Addison and Alex together. But ick, even the sight of them enraged her with jealousy.

Then, Izzie had an idea. She remembered seeing the movie Freaky Friday with that slutty Lindsay Lohan last week. George had wanted to see it, and cried 3 times during the movie. But that's a whole other story in itself. Anywhoo... it just so happened Izzie had some of those magical fortune cookies that let you switch bodies with someone right in her labcoat pocket! (wow, what luck!) She smiled evilly. She was going to switch bodies with Addison. Then Alex would be alllllll hers. She felt the urge to do an evil laugh, and attempted, but it came out very pathetically. Izzie was not an evil-laugh type person, she figured. Unfortunately, Nurse Tyler had noticed her attempt and was uproariously laughing. She punched him in the arm and he whimpered and backed off, and Izzie approached Addison...


	2. Chapter 2

By the way, I forgot to include this stories author's account names. They are:

RhymesWith0range, sillybillyxo, keebzie, yoyoreb, Jessica JoLyne

* * *

Part 2: Fun With Body Swapping

Addison tore her eyes away from Alex's to see Izzie striding towards them, an oddly determined look on her face. There was a strange glint in her eye that made Addison recoil slightly.

"What?" Alex asked, seeing her attention diverted.

"Good morning, Dr. Stevens," Addison said hesitantly.

"Morning," Izzie smiled sweetly. "Fortune cookie?" she asked, offering one to the gorgeous woman.

After a moment's awkward silence, Addison took the cookie. She watched Izzie's face the whole time. Something felt wrong. She broke open the cookie, and pulled the slip of paper out from inside. She read the fortune aloud.

Suddenly, there was a strange pull. Addison blinked and shook her head, trying to get rid of the sudden migraine. But as suddenly as it came on, it had disappeared. She opened her eyes.

"What the hell?!" she said loudly. People turned to stare. She too stared, but not at Izzie. She was staring at herself.

"Shh!" Addison's body said. Her eyes widened. Addison recoiled in Izzie's body. What was going on here?

Alex watched this bizarre exchange, and turned to face Izzie's body. "Izzie, Ad - Dr. Montgomery and I have to get going now," he said, "We've got a baby in the NICU that needs brain surgery if she's going to survive."

"Actually," Izzie said in Addison's body, "I would like Dr. Stevens on my service today. I know how much you hate working with me, I'll make it easy. You can go find Dr. Bailey for a new assignment for the day."

Addison and Izzie left quickly, leaving Alex standing there royally confused. "I don't hate working with her... she knows that..."

♡♡♡

Addison, inside Izzie's body, of course, was livid. "Isobel Stevens," she hissed, "What the hell is going on here?" Addison studied her new body. Defiantly a lot curvier, and she noticed the bigger boobs right away. Yet, her back was for some reason not aching, which she determined was the fact she was no longer wearing her 3 inch Prada pumps, but 20$ WalMart shoes. She wrinkled her nose a little at the thought of her outfit, until she realized she had bigger problems.

Izzie hummed to herself, twirling her hair "I've always wanted to be a redhead!" she exclaimed bouncily. She continued to attempt to walk in Addison's heels, but she was skidding all over the place, as trailer park girls really aren't so used to the tortuous pain that is stilettos.

Addison grabbed Izzie's arm (well, technically, her own arm), and led her to an empty corridor, forcing her to explain herself. "Tell me what you did!" she screeched.

Izzie pouted and looked up down and her own body. "I saw you and Alex, last night, umm, at Joes? And well, the thing is, that's my man." She said proudly.

"Were you engaged like... 3 months ago?"

"Quiet you," Izzie threatened, lowered her hand to her heel, "Or the shoe gets it"

"Nooooooo!" Addie wailed. "Please, not my shoes. ANYTHING but that!"

Izzie beamed. "Keep your mouth shut and go along with my plan for today, and I'll keep them safe and sound. All I need is a few hours with him... to prove that I'm over him. That's all." At least I think... she thought to herself. There was no way she could be in love with him. Except for the fact that she thought about him 24/7 and loved every little thing about him, including his adorable half smiles and mousybrown hair and deep honey eyes and rough, masculine voice... but that's not love, she assured herself.

Addison just nodded. She didn't particularly like the plan, but what could she do? Shoes were her life. And, what no one knew were, the shoes were the source of her power...

♡♡♡

Izzie had often wondered how Addison had so much power over the men in her life. Even Derek in the beginning. Now, she felt the power. The three inch heels clacked on the hard floor as she made her way to the NICU with Addison following along behind her. As the shoes made their trademark noise, she noticed heads turning. No one was looking at Izzie's body, which was unusual. Izzie thought she was definitely the hotter of the two women. She shrugged, not understanding the allure. Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the shoes...

"Dr. Stevens," Izzie said over her shoulder to Addison, "I would really like some coffee... normally I don't send my interns to fetch coffee, but I've got to take a look at this baby, and right now, what I need is some coffee."

Addison looked appalled. Being an intern surely sucked, but the only one who treated interns like this was Mark. "If I ever get my body back," Addison hissed, "I'm going to see to it that you never go near Mark Sloan again... he's a bad influence on you."

"The shoes," Izzie said warningly, although she had no intention of hurting these precious Prada's. She was beginning to realize that the powerful allure Addison had was indeed coming from these shoes.

Addison stormed off in Izzie's body, finding it easier to take long strides in WalMart flat soled shoes. But come on, Nike's at least...

She rounded the corner and bumped straight into Alex. Forgetting, momentarily who she looked like, she spoke, "Alex, we need to talk about last night. I'd like to apologize. I said it before, I'm sorry, I'm your attending and it shouldn't have happened, and - "

"What are you talking about, Stevens? I never saw you last night." Alex said, confused. "And you, my attending?" he scoffed. "Just because you're spending time with all the hot shots around here doesn't make you special." He knew something wasn't right. Izzie wasn't talking the way Izzie normally talked...

Addison's stomach dropped. She'd screwed up.

♡♡♡

Alex stared at Izzie. Gosh, she was so beautiful. Her hair, her eyes, her amazing chest, her curves, her...

"Um, Karev?" Alex snapped out of ogle-mode and looked at Izzie. Um, Karev? Wtb?

"What's up with you?" he raised a perfect eyebrow at her. Izzie was being weird. And not just regular Izzie-weird. But actually, genuinely weird. "Did that creepy stalker guy make your coffee again this morning? I told you not to let that guy handle your drinks… he's gonna drug you so he can drag you into an on-call room and rape you or something. Honestly, he's fucking weird."

"What?? Oh... um, no. Sorry, I just, didn't ... get much sleep last night?" Izzie replied meekly. Alex was weirded out, until he realized something... shit. She must have seen them last night, at Joes.

"Izzie... um, last night, at Joes, did you... see something? Something that might be causing you to act this way?"

"I assure you I witnessed nothing of the sort," Izzie (Addison, really) said, before catching her mistake as she saw Alex's confused expression. "I mean... uh, like omg I totally didn't! What the heck are ya talking about silly billy?"

"Uhm.. nothing," Alex was kind of scared. True, he was in love with Izzie, and pretty much obsessed with her, but this was too much. Plus, he had to find Addison and nip this kissing thing in the bud. "Okay, I um, have too... yeah." He nodded and excused himself.

After making his way down the hall, Alex finally found Addison.

"Hey, there you are. Look, we need to talk..."

Izzie smiled evilly with Addison's gorgeous lips... Now was her chance. She had wanted to kiss him for sooo long, and now she finally could. Granted, she was in the body of another woman, but who cares? She grabbed Alex's arm and pulled him into an empty on-call room, not giving him a chance to protest. "How about we talk later..." she grinned seductively, pressing him up against the wall. She put all her pent up lust and wanting for Alex into a forceful kiss. She felt him start to kiss her back heatedly as she raked her red nails up under his scrub top...

♡♡♡

Alex felt the aggressive sensation of Addison's fingernails as they explored his bare chest feverishly. This was surprising, even for Alex, who was used to having girls throw themselves at him like wild animals in a spray-on Axe commercial. It just didn't seem like Addison to throw herself at a man like this. But he wasn't complaining. He brought both of his hands up to cup Addison's face, deepening the kiss and letting his tongue explore recently discovered territory.

Izzie had at this point completely lost control of her own body as the memories of how perfect it felt to be in his arms came rushing back. His touch. His kiss. His hair. Oh God. How the fuck did I give this up? She broke the kiss just long enough for her hands, which had developed a mind of their own, to heave Alex's scrub shirt over his head, revealing his toned and Godly physique. Her eye's filled with an indescribable amount of lust and wanting. Her gaze traveled up his abdominal, to his chest and then finally rested on his familiar affectionately hazel eyes. He was perfect. He reached out behind her head in an attempt to pull her in for another kiss but before their lips met, Izzie caught her breathe and quickly whispered.

"God Alex I missed this so much." Her hands had already made their way down to the drawstring of his pants. She slid one underneath the waistband in order to tease him a little. She remembered just what drove him crazy. But before she had gotten the chance to say hello to a long lost friend, Alex pulled back abruptly.

Alex's excitement was evident after Addison had assertively ripped off his shirt. Something wasn't right. He could have sworn the way Addison was kissing him, it was so different from last night, and yet it felt so familiar. So right. He had to have her, right now. Right here. He quickly pulled Addison close and began groping at her backside. But before he could get one more amazing kiss, she whispered something under her breathe that made his mind stop racing. What did she just say? He grabbed her by the arms and looked her straight in the eye, trying to read her mind. What he saw, confused him thoroughly.

"What did you just say?"

♡♡♡

"Nothing!" Alex said, maybe a little too quickly.

"Karev," Izzie barked in a way that she thought would sound more Addison like "Tell me what you just said!"

Alex looked down at the floor like an embarrassed school boy and mumbled something inaudible

"What was that?"

"I said, 'Oh, Izzie,'" Alex admitted quietly, clearly embarrassed. He wasn't sure what came over him. Addison was just like Izzie, it was so strange. She did all the things that Izzie loved to do, the things that drove him wild.

Izzie, in Addison's body clearly didn't know how to react. This is what she wanted. Right? Her Alex, her very own life-size Prince Charming, evil spawn (accessories not included) was right in front of her. Maybe he missed her just the same as she. He was still looking down at the floor. But she couldn't give up her cover. What would Addison do? She thought. A smile quickly crossed her lips and she knew exactly what to do.

She put her arms around his shoulders and gave him the most passion filled kiss, which made he body tingle head to toe.

♡♡♡

After a good... 10 minutes of experiencing one of the more intense make out sessions ever known to man, Alex finally used every brain cell in his horny, sex-infested mind to untangle himself from the extremely eager and willing knockout of a woman standing before him. He met her confused stare with a pair of guilty, pleading eyes. He needed answers. Why was he imagining Izzie every time their lips met? Why did he feel her and see her every time he closed his eyes? He didn't picture Izzie when they had kissed at the bar last night and Addison certainly wasn't this aggressive. Something freaky was definitely up, besides McJr who was currently pitching a 4-person tent below. He gave it a couple rubs to try and calm it down. He wasn't used to thinking with his heart like this. Usually Camp Alex had a little bit more say.

"Alex, what is it?" Addison questioned distractingly, while she ran her hands through his rough brown hair. God how she missed playing with his hair. "You seem ready enough. And we both know I've been ready for awhile here. When did you become such a pansy?" I'm Addison Mont-Fucking-Gomery for heaven sakes, Izzie thought. And this is the guy I'm screwing, supposedly. Damn... what if they haven't had sex yet?

"See!" Alex exclaimed. "That's exactly what I'm freaked out about."

"What?"

"You, acting like... we've done this before. Like, you know me well enough to know when I'm being a pansy. It doesn't, make sense."

"Alex..." Izzie quickly caught herself and cleared her throat. What the hell does a girl have to do to get some sex around here? Look like a frickin' Goddess? Oh right right, I already frig a diggn do.

"Karev, seriously? Your reputation for this kind of stuff, it doesn't just get around to the interns you know. I just thought, I don't know, you'd be game for some hot sex in a empty exam room with a fine mother fucker like me. Call me crazy! But seriously... that's the only reason I called you a pansy..." Izzie tried to be nonchalant, but she was desperately hoping Alex had bought her 'I'm Addison, respect my authority bitch and give me some sex' speech. She missed sex with him so so... so bad.

Alex mentally slapped himself in the face... twice. Look at what he was turning down. My God. And all over a chick who was obviously still in love with her dead fiancé and wouldn't give him the time of day. He couldn't deny that for the 10 minutes he had fooled himself into thinking he was really kissing Izzie, he had been genuinely happier than he could remember being in a long time. But, fuck man. He was Alex Karev. He didn't deal with emotional shit when a fiery fine-ass older woman was achin' for a spankin' right there in front of him. Who the hell did he think he was, O'malley?

Okay Alex, time to suppress all that emotional nonsense into the back of your head again and get the job done. What the hell is your problem?

Addison had crossed her arms over her chest and her anxious expression was slowly fading to one of utter disappointment when finally, Alex broke the silence.

"Your right," he said, closing the gap in between them and taking Addison in his arms. "I do have a reputation to uphold Dr. Montgomery." He softly pushed away a red strand of hair that had fallen across her hair. "But you, beautiful, are not just some notch on my bedpost." He gave her his best Karev smirk, kissing her cheek and causing her knees to shake and finally give out as she fell into his arms.  
This last comment made Izzie's heart melt until she realized who he thought he was talking to and then her heart started to tighten up until she almost thought she'd cry. But she pushed the tears back and decided she'd just fuck the hell out of him as revenge. Sounds like something Addison would do, or did... right? With that, Izzie wasted no time and quickly threw her own shirt up over her head. Briefly catching a glimpse of her own chest.

"My boobs!" She gasped.

"I know," Alex licked his lips and swiftly lifted Addison up in one effortless motion onto the exam table. "Let's take a closer look, shall we?"

Before he had a chance to unhook Addison's bra, the pair heard a big crash and jerked their heads around to see Cristina and Burke going at it like wild monkeys at the zoo. That was until they both realized two other half-naked doctors were in the room.

After a minute of awkward silence, Cristina broke in.

"So _this_ is who your boinkin' Karev?"

♡♡♡

Seeing Addison, one of his fellow attending, going at it with an intern, Alex Karev was totally embarrassing for Preston Burke. But, when he was doing the same thing with an intern, it was defiantly much, much worse. He and Cristina had just started speaking again.

The silence had finally been broken when he asked her to marry him. He didn't know where it came from exactly, maybe it was that he had finally let it all go and realized that this was the girl he wanted to wake up with for the rest of his life. She hadn't replied right away. But, earlier this morning while he was resting in the on call room she got next to him and whispered in his ear a 'yes' and passionately kissed him.

Well, one thing led to another and now he was currently naked with his girlfriend on top of him with Addison Montgomery and Alex Karev in the same room, half naked. Burke was simply speechless, What do you do when someone catches you in the act, but they're doing it too? That's one thing his mama never taught him.

Cristina stood up completely naked and quickly covered her self with a sheet. She reached down on the floor and grabbed Burke's black boxer briefs and threw them to him. She smiled a sneaking smile that seemed to say that this isn't over yet.

"You two, you know what? I haven't talked to, or even had sex with this man in weeks. Okay, this is MY turn. You don't get to ruin it for me. So get out, GET OUT!" Cristina yelled, pushing them out of the room half naked.

"But that's not fair!" Addison yelled, which was very un-Addison like, Burke thought, That was too optimistic for Addison Montgomery.

"Life isn't fair!" Cristina said and grabbed the coat rack in the room. She picked it up and started waving it at them "GET OUT!"

Addison and Alex quickly ran out of the room with all there clothes in hand, rushing out to quickly to put them on.

Burke was amazed how this tiny woman could have such a fiery personality. But, thank god they were gone, he wanted her. He needed her, he had longed for her. No matter how mad he was he could never not want her, ever. She was marrying him annged for her while he was mad. Finally, they were engaged, finally they were speaking, finally there were happy-this wasn't make up sex, this was finally sex.

Cristina dropped the sheet and walked back over to Burke and laid down on top of him.

"Now, where were we?"

♡♡♡

Addison Montgomery, having a very hard time being a blonde in 20$ shoes indeed, had remained by the nurses station as Izzie, in her body, had led Alex away. She knew they were most likely sleeping together right now, and it surprised her that she didn't feel much more than a twinge of jealousy. After all, she was attracted to Karev, no doubt, but an even larger part of her wanted Alex and Izzie to be happy together. The kind of happiness now unfortunately unattainable for Mark and herself. She sighed, wincing at the state of Izzie's split ends. "Poor interns," she thought "they can't even afford decent shampoo".

"Hey, blondie!"

Upon hearing Mark's voice, Addison whipped around to meet him, her eyes hungrily taking him in. God, she wanted him so badly. But she had made such a mess of things, it seems unfixable now.

"Are you with me today?" he winked, gaining himself an eye roll in return.

"Mark, how many times _must_ I tell you to not treat your interns as personal slaves, whether it be for coffee, sex, or otherwise." Mark stared at her, blinking heavily, allowing Addison to realize her mistake once again. "Um... I mean, sureee thing Doctor Sloan, hee hee, we are like totally working together today," she attempted. Shit, that wasn't Izzie. That was just stereotypical blonde valley girl. This is why Addison Montgomery was a redhead; she had no idea how to be a blonde.

Mark just cast her a strange glance as he started down the hall, and Addison followed meekly, attempting to listen to the case he was outlining but finding herself staring at his sculpted ass instead. God... she just wanted to reach out and --

"Dr. Stevens?"

ShitShitShit. She actually did it. God Addison, she thought to herself, control yourself! And you wonder why you're an adulterous whore. "Uh, yes?"

"Did you just... grab my ass? Because if so, I think that warrants scrubbing in."

Addison just smiled, not really knowing what else to do, and momentarily wondered if this counted as a type of prostitution in some states. The smiles were immediately wiped off both their faces, however, as they turned the corner and saw Alex and Addison's body standing half naked in the hall.

Addison silently fumed, as the whole hospital was now seeing some of her very wicked sideboob, her full breasts only half concealed behind her bra. And that sideboob was meant for private eyes only. As soon as she got her body and pointed toed shoes back, she vowed to kick the crap out of Izzie for this.

It looked, however, as if some other fighting would be occurring first, as Mark turned three shades of red and clenched his fists tightly. "What the FUCK were you doing with Addison?" he screamed. And before anyone could get the chance to react, Mark advanced on Alex, sailing his fist into his face, hard.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for reviewing sillies, we really appriciate it. If you like the story, please keep them coming. ♡

* * *

Part 3: Mancandy

Mark vs. Alex. This, Addison and Izzie both though, would quite possibly be the hottest thing ever. Besides a foursome, of course.

Mark advanced on Alex.

"You heard me bitch! What were you doing with my Addison" Mark screamed... obviously outraged by the thoughts of what had happened swirling around in his mind.

"Chill dude. Like what the balls? We were just...um..." Alex stammered.

They were suddenly transported to a boxing arena. There were loads of fans screaming "Alex! Alex!" and "Mark! Mark!"

Through Izzie's eyes, Addison watched in pure terror what was about to go down. Two men fighting over her?

Through Addison's eyes, Izzie was thinking "Fuck man, why the fuck is everything about fucking Addison. Why are the two hottest guys ever fucking fighting over Addison? Fuck."

Back in the ring, beads of sweat were dripping down both Mark's and Alex's faces.

In the background, Get Low was playing. "To the windows, to the walls! Till the sweat drops down my balls!"

Alex made the first move. He ripped of Mark's shirt in less that a second. Mark did the same to Alex.

"Oh fuck!" both girls thought in unison, "The big O is coming."

Alex made his next move. A right hand jab to the lower left gluteus maximus semi-palmatus in the left ventricle of the DCL of the knee.

♡♡♡

Before a fat man could pass gas, the main lobby of Seattle Grace's surgical floor was overflowing with doctors, patients, firefighters and local celebrities. People were tripping over each other to try and catch a glimpse of the rumored "Marlex Duel." The name, no one had a fucking clue what it meant. All they knew is it oozed of infinite sexiness.

Callie had just finished giving George a piggy-back ride when they had heard the intense cries of a mob of people chanting, "Take it off! Take it off!" They both looked at each other wide-eyed and then George yelled gleefully, "last one to the lobby is a rotten egg!" He giggled and playfully pushed Callie on the shoulder. Callie laughed and tried returning the playful gesture but instead her push sent George flying across the hallway and smashing into the wall. But Callie had gotten too excited over the race to realize George was now lying unconscious on the floor.

She booked it as fast as she could to the main lobby, clotheslining Meredith and Derek on the way there.

Meredith and Derek had just returned from the hospital gift shop, where they made an emergency stop for hair gel, earmuffs and heart-shaped chocolate candies, which they proceeded to feed each other giddily. When they spotted Callie resembling a line backer, charging toward them, Derek stopped to cheerly ask,

"Hey Dr. Torres! What's all this nonsense abo..." BAM! Callie, with all her unattainable excitement leveled both Meredith and Derek, sending them crashing to the ground and merely breaking Meredith in half.

"Sorry!" Callie yelled after them, still sprinting down the corridor toward the lobby.

Once she made her way to the inside of the circle that had formed around Sloan and Karev she was glad she had ran so fast. She did wonder what was taking George so long to catch up. But her mind quickly wandered as she listened to the song playing in the background.

"Well slap my ass and call me Kelly I fucking LOVE this song!" She started belching out the words as her eyes feasted on the delicious concoction of sweat and man she witnessed before her. "All these bitches crawl. Yeah! Go for the fucking knees Karev!"

Across the circle, Callie could faintly make out the form of a familiar figure. "You have got to be kidding me..."

Bailey had just ripped her lab coat off and proceeded to swirl it around up over her head, verifying that Seattle Grace had in fact, gone completely smack-ass nutzo.

"Yeah McSteamy!" The short black woman bellowed over the crowd. "You best take the rest of them clothes off before I come over there and slap that ass! Daaaamn."

Of course Sloan was too involved with trying to pin Karev to the ground and beat the living shit out of him.

"You slept with the mother of my kid you fucking lowlife!" He aimed for Alex's mid section and threw his entire body weight into him, but quickly discovered this was a bad decision as Alex's reflexes were too quick. He stepped to the left, watching Sloan barely miss him and fall crashing into the nearby lobby desk.

"What the hell are you talking about Sloan?!" Alex's gaze quickly went from Mark who continued to have trouble standing up to a terrified Addison, who stood motionless in the middle of the circle.

He was so fucking confused. But what confused him even more was a frantic Izzie who came flying through the middle of the circle.

"Mark!" She screamed, running toward him at the lobby desk. "Oh God Mark, are you alright?"

Addison, (Izzie) finally shook herself out of the daze she was in and took in her absurd surroundings. Is that... fucking Bailey riding that gurney? She had had enough.

"Will somebody cut the fucking music?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. This was some sort of sick dream. Besides the fact that she was inhabiting the body of another woman. That seemed perfectly plausible.

♡♡♡

George struggled to open his eyes staring at the bright lights of the exam room he now laid in. Confusion consumed him. He could not remember who or where he was. His whole body felt like he had been hit by a semi, and his head throbbed. When his eyes finally adjusted he saw a woman with dark black hair. Was she an Amazon? He all of a sudden felt like Anne from King Kong. Would he now be wildly grasped in her hand and savagely dragged to her destination of choice?

George panicked. Without hesitation he frantically grabbed the side table lamp and hit the wild woman across the head, praying to God that he knocked her out cold. Without delay George began to run. He ran all the time afraid to look behind him for fear of tripping and being ravished by the woman that now haunted his every thought. He was disoriented. He couldn't find an escape. Every room he encountered had a couple that lay within, fucking like there was no tomorrow. He thought to himself, "Is this some kind of a whore house?" Suddenly the ground began to shake. He could hear the growling and gnashing of teeth. He knew without looking it was her! He continued to run, screaming, fearing for his life.

Then his salvation. Before him, was a woman, nay an angel. She bellowed, "Halt." His whole surrounding seemed to pause as this angel with red hair began to run towards him with rage in her eyes. She ran past George with such speed that a gust of wind picked him up and hurled him into a wall.

Izzie grabbed a chair from a nearby nurses station and broke it over Callie's head. It was such a hard blow that Callie fell to the ground motionless. Izzie placed one foot on her in victory quickly after kicking her once or twice to make sure she wouldn't be getting back up for a while.

George awoke to see Addison spitting on Callie who was lying seemingly paralyzed on the ground.

♡♡♡

Callie Torres was out cold, an attending and an intern were fighting, both shirtless, over another attending, and he just caught the man he was going to ask to replace him as Chief and his intern fiancé going at it like rabbits in an on call room. Chief Richard Webber had already had a rough day, his wife said she didn't want him anymore, that he was too late, and now this? This seemed to be the icing on the cake.

Patricia told him there was something going on and that she had to leave to go watch. She explained to him what she had heard. So, of course he went and followed her.

When he got down there, the sight was something that made couldn't be explained.

The entire surgical floor staff was there, when he could have sworn that there were 5 surgeries going on right now. An intern, George, was running around yelling 'IS THIS A WHORE HOUSE?" and 'WHERE AM I?" One resident was out cold and another, his favorite resident was on a gurney. Derek Shepard and Meredith Grey were lovingly feeding each other chocolate on the stairs, completely unaware of what's going on around them. Alex and Mark were now circling each other in only their boxers because they seemed to think that the less clothes you wear the easier you can beat someone to a pulp.

Addison and Isobel Stevens were mad, but it seemed for different reasons. Addison was staring, looking pissed, at the fight, muttering something to herself. Isobel Stevens was yelling something that no one could hear, slowly trying to make her way towards the surround sound stereo system that the nurses kept so that they could listen to music on slow days.

Isobel Stevens made her way to the stereo, turned the music down and yelled.

♡♡♡

"Everyone, stop!" Amazingly everyone in the room came to her attention.

All this while, Addison, in Izzie's body was devising a plan. She decided to act on it. She grabbed Alex aggressively, and kissed him, letting out a sigh of satisfaction. Alex, was shocked. He was just fucking Addison and now Izzie's kissing him. He didn't fight it though. He had been wanting this moment ever since the stolen kiss in the stairwell that she pulled away from too suddenly. He embraced her, he loved feeling her in his arms. He knew that she had been acting differently lately, but this was no time to think of that. He was for this moment in time full. So full that he could explode with the happiness that had taken over his entire being.

Izzie's jaw dropped. The whole room, including herself, was looking at her and Alex kissing. The way he so tenderly kissed, held, and caressed. She'd give anything to be back in her own body. Screw the magical shoes. She loved Alex.

Addison was blown away by the kiss. "Why has Alex never kissed me like this?" she thought to herself. She now realized what she had done. What was meant to be a distraction for Mark, turned into a big mistake. She knew, she just knew, that Alex loved Izzie and she had just opened the flood gates. How could she correct her mistake? She pulled away.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks everyone for the reviewssssss ♡ it makes us all warm and fuzzy inside hee hee.

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Part 4

Addison really was at a loss for words. As she pulled away, she looked up into Alex's eyes. He was smiling, actually, genuinely smiling; something he never did. Guilt washed over her. This was all her fault, and she was breaking his heart all over again. "Sorry, I, um..." Addison darted Izzie's eyes back and forth, trying to formulate an escape route. "I'm just, sorry..." and she took off running down the hall.

Alex brought his fingers to his lips as he watched Izzie, the love of his life, escape down the hall. Okay, what the fuck was that? Like, 3 weeks ago she was pulling away and telling him she couldn't because she was still hung up on her corpse of a boyfriend or whatever the fuck he was, and now she's making out with him in front of the whole hospital? Talk about confusing.

He looked over at Addison, who must have seen what just happened, and, ohhhh shit. She was crying. Fuck, why was he so damn goodlooking that all these women had to constantly try and sex him up right in front of each other? Speaking of being sexed up, both these gorgeous women were also proving to be unbelievable teases, as he STILL hadn't gotten any in the last 24 hours, even though he had been naked twice.

Alex was about to speak to Addison, when Mark cut in. Seeing Karev get all the action at this hospital was not only completely crazy, it was disturbing. Mark was a P.I.M.P., and no motherfucking intern was going to be stealing that status from him anytime soon. This was his hospital, and these were his bitches. And now Karev had made Addison cry?!? It was too much.

Mark pulled a crying Addison into his chest and bent down to kiss her. "It's okay Addie, I'm here," he murmured as her planted a kiss on her lips.

Izzie's eyes shot open upon feeling Mark's lips on her own. She pushed her hands against his chest and tried to push him off of her. "Dr. Sloane!" she squealed, "what the hell are you doing???"

Mark and Alex were both looking at her now, shock and confusion filling their faces. Fuck, Izzie thought, she had really made a mess of things. This had gone too far. She needed to go find Addison and get her body back before she did anymore damage. She took off, sprinting down the hall after her own body. Unfortunately, she had once again forgotten she was wearing heels, and tripped, falling flat on her face. She quickly picked herself back up, ignoring the laughter behind her, and left.

Mark and Alex stood beside each other, staring after Addison in disbelief. The two gorgeous pieces of man candy, still completely naked except for their boxers, seemed to forget they had been previously fighting. "Women..." they murmured in disbelief.

♡♡♡

Izzie ran as fast as her heels would allow. Her heart beating faster and faster with every step. She needed to find Addison. She needed her body back. She needed Alex.

Addison continued to run down the hall not knowing where or what she would do, she just knew she needed away from the crowd of people and their ever staring eyes. She ran to the stairwell to find Meredith and Derek gazing into each other's eyes. She nearly barfed, as she nudged pass them.

Izzie could see herself running up ahead. Her body had turned into the stairwell, so Izzie decided to take the elevator. She frantically pushed the button, what seemed a million times before the doors finally opened. She stepped inside and pushed the button to go up without delay.

Addison had nearly reached the next floor. She was trying to think of what to do next when suddenly Izzie met her, doors flinging open. After admiring herself for a few seconds while she caught her breath she said, "Stevens, this has got to stop. I should not have kissed Alex in your body, I thought it was the right move to break up the fight, but he loves you Izzie. He loves you."

Izzie nodded. She had known of Alex's feeling for her, but now that she knew her own feelings, it was so urgent to get back to him. Izzie felt so bad seeing the hurt on Addison's face but she knew something too. She thought for a second and then gently said, "Mark is difficult, he's an ass, he doesn't always say or do the right things, but he loves you Addison."

Addison looked down, wincing at the cheap shoes that she was standing on, that was the last thing she wanted to hear.

♡♡♡

Back at the nurse's station, Alex and Mark were still standing there, close to naked, while hundreds of horny nurses circled them.

"Dude," Mark said. "Look at these chicks! Some of them are pretty hot too... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I dunno," Alex replied. "Are you thinking that if we had a mass orgy right now, the rating of this fic would become a lot higher than 'teen', but it would be so worth it?"

"Uhm... well that, but also, like, look at these women!" Mark gestured to all the women standing around them, drooling and licking their lips hungrily. "Like holyshit, we are some fine mother fuckers. We are Gods. The pimps of Seattle Grace. We don't need no fucking women holding us down and making us fight and go crazy. Fuck 'em"

"Yeah," Alex agreed, "screw that dizzy blonde girl!"

"Dude, ew. Didn't that Denny guy say that line before?"

"HOMG, he did? Ewwwww! That's disgusting, dude, why did you make me think of that fucker? Are you trying to make me vomit? Let's pretend that didn't happen."

"Good idea. I wanna forget he was even alive. Gross. What was with that wicked unibrow he had?"

"I don't know. And I don't ever want to know," Alex shuddered.

"Okay so anyways," Alex continued, "here's the plan. Were gonna forget about being one-woman bitches, get our balls back, and fuck alllllll of these nurses."

"Okay, sounds good," Mark nodded. "Uhm, expect for one thing."

"What's that?"

"I miss Addison."

Alex nodded. "Yeah. I know. God, were such fucking pansies, letting women run our lives like this."

Mark nodded in agreement. "Wanna go get our bitches back?"

"Hells yes!" Alex said. "Uhm, but do you think we should maybe put some pants on first?" He was starting to become very aware of his nakedness as he watched the nurses in front of him practically ovulate as they stared at his sculpted chest.

Mark smiled. "Well, don't you think we stand a better chance of winning them back looking like this?"

"Good point," Alex agreed. And with that they took off down the hall to find Addie and Izzie.

The nurses pouted sadly when the mancandy exited. Seeing Alex and Mark grope at each like they were in 3$ porn found in an adult movie warehouse had them all hot and bothered. Suddenly, a scared and confused George burst into the room. "Yummy," one of the nurses commented, and soon they were on George's ass like catnip, tearing at his clothes with their teeth.

♡♡♡

Izzie and Addison were standing alone in an empty hall way.

"Okay Addison, we need to switch back. I don't know if you've seen the movie but I gave you the magical fortune cookie because I got the idea from Freaky Friday." said Izzie.

"You mean the movie with that slutty Lindsay Lohan girl?" asked Addison.

"Yeah. That's it. So in the movie they like tried stuff to switch, and it didn't really work for them, but maybe we can try some of the things they did?" Izzie said while crossing her fingers.

Addison looked at her like she was crazy and then said "Sure, let's try."

Izzie giggled and said, "Okay, what should we do first? Um, how about we try to run into eachother?"

"Stevens you are crazy, but Lord knows I'm tired of walking around in these $20 shoes and knocking things over with my, excuse me, your gargantuous boobs." Addison said very seriously.

Izzie was offended, but she did know how it felt to have her boobs so she kept quiet and said, "Okay I'll stand over there and you can stand right over there, we'll count to 3 and do it." Izzie said hoping she was convincing enough.

"Oh God." Addison muttered, then nodded.

Izzie backed up about 6 steps and Addison did the same in the other direction. They were both now staring at eachother, both quietly pleading, "Please work. Please work. Please work." Addison nodded to Izzie and started to count. 1. 2...3! They both lunged forward, in less than a second they met each other halfway with such force that Izzie, in Addison's body, flew backwards 10 feet after hitting her boobs. Addison just stood there smirking, "I guess they do have some perks. Huh?"

♡♡♡

Cristina Yang was standing at the nurse's station, twirling her engagement ring around her finger. She had the most amazing man by her side and the perfect job. Aside from the fact that her passion filled sex with Burke had been interrupted not once, but twice, Cristina was happy and optimistic

Suddenly, Addison Montgomery came tripping down the hallway with Izzie walking right beside her, poised and with perfect posture. How strange, Cristina thought.

Izzie had always been such a klutz, she wore sneakers under her prom dress a few months ago because she couldn't walk in heels and Addison, well, anyone with the name Addison Forbes Montgomery had to be perfect at everything, even walking.

"Have you seen Karev and Sloane?" Izzie asked.

"We need to see them, like now." Addison asked.

Before Cristina could reply, she felt an arm wrap around her waist she smiled.

"Hello, the future Mrs. Burke." Burke whispered into her ear.

Shivers went down Cristina's spine, he always knew what could make her smile.

"You mean the future Dr. Burke, the she-Burke" she replied.

Burke smiled and squeezed her waist.

"Addison, I heard that etopic pregnancy got a little complicated earlier."

"Nothing I couldn't handle, Preston," Izzie replied. Addison nudged her and she seemed to realize something.

"Oh like, totally, I heard that too," She said.

"Well, um. Stevens, lets go talk to those people we have to like go to. Preston, Cristina, nice to see you," Addison replied. She took Izzie's arm and pulled her down the hall

"Well that was strange," Burke said after they had left.

Cristina's pager went off and she looked down to check it.

"I have to go, PIT," she said, going up for a kiss on the cheek, she quickly reconsidered

"I love you," she whispered in his ear and then ran off down the hall.

♡♡♡

So basically, Addie and Izzie were arm in arm running around the fucking **large** hospital, while Mark and Alex and running around to try and find Addie and Izzie. Yes, it was like a fucked up maze. And, like the song goes, "It was a fucked maze".

Cristina and Burke loved each other. Great. That's nothing new. Mer and Der were fucking example of what PDA becomes when it is multiplied by infinity. Nothing new. But the fucking maze; that was something new.

"Damnit Addison, my beast is raging, and if I like don't like have Alex like soon, I dont know what I am going to do" yelled Izzie, in Addie's body, obviously distressed.

"Gosh Izzie. Way to over use the word 'like'. But I know what you mean. Like, I need Mark now" Addie replied.

"OMG!!! I was online the other day, right? And, like, there was this forum about us, and there was this thing called 'Maddisexie' and I totally though it would be a good idea!" Izzie was obviously too excited now.

"Hmmm...is that like Mark and me and you and Alex...but dude, that's hot. Like race car hot. Or like me hot." Addie said

"OK... that's it. We are never gonna find them," Izzie grabbed Addison until they were inches apart.

"Izz... I'm down with the rainbow, but I dont swing that way," said Addison. "Crap... does my breath really smell that bad? I swear I swallowed my $200 breath mints this morning when I was fucking Alex!"

"Ya... your right. That was like totally awkward. Like _totally_ awkward. Like you are so running out the door right now. Shit that line was definitely in Garden State."

Meanwhile, on which seemed like the opposite side of the world, Alex and Mark were still running.

"Alex. Look around us," Mark was saying "Take it in. Yes there you go. Now don't you think we have been running in circles? I mean, we came into this OR 10 minutes ago, and we haven't left yet. I am thinking we might need to open the door if we want to get out."

"Fuck man. I'm not an idiot. Like, totally," Alex was almost talking like Izzie now. "Haha... but wouldn't it be fun if we switched bodies?"

"What the fuck Alex! You are a freaking retard! Shut up already! I need to find my girl before my raging beast goes wild and I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life!" Mark said sternly.

"Dude...I don't swing that way."

♡♡♡

"Addison, I need you to do me a favour," Izzie said, stopping suddenly in the middle of the hallway.

"Why on earth should I do you any favours?" Addison put her hands on the curvy hips that belong to Isobel Stevens.

"Because, we can't get back into our bodies right now. It's just not going to work."

"And you know this how?" Addison was skeptical about believing anything Izzie said to her at this moment in time.

"I just do!" Izzie exploded. "Are you going to help me, or not?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to tell Alex that you love him - that I love him," Izzie said, calming down a little bit. "If I can't do it myself," she choked back a tear, "I will need you to do it for me."

Addison saw the pain in her own eyes, and bit her lip. "Yeah, ok."

Addison turned on the heel of the crappy WalMart shoe, and realized "I don't know where he is."

"I guess we'll have to find him then." Izzie said softly. She didn't want to have to see Alex, not when she knew that she couldn't kiss him without making him like Addison more.

"There they are!" Addison exclaimed, pointing to two men walking down the hall in nothing but their boxers.

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haha gosh, can you tell what characters we love and what ones we hate by now? ♡♡♡


	5. Chapter 5

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Part 5

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"Alex, Can I talk to you?" Izzie (Addison) asked.

"Um, Sure." he replied and she ushered him into the near by on call room.

Okay Addison, she thought, How to I tell him that that Izzie loves him still? Addison had only really loved Derek, and look were that turned out. She thought she loved Mark, she was going to tell him, but then she found out about the Pediatrics Nurse. She had thought about what she was going to all day, but then her best friend, Derek's sister, called her and told her she caught the Nurse and Mark together in the supply closet.

Then, Addison knew exactly what she was going to say for Izzie. She closed her eyes and spoke.

"Okay, Alex, I love you. Not in a maybe way or not in a friend way either. I love you in a big way. And I know were wrong for each other. And sometimes I absolutely can't stand you. But when I'm not with you, it's like I don't exist, I simply don't know who I am without you," she paused.

"I know, its cheesy. You can laugh if you want. But this is the truth. I love you. And I'm sorry about the baby."

"The baby… What baby?" Alex said, still in his clover boxers.

Oh, Shit, Addison thought. When she had closed her eyes, she pictured Mark. Sweet, beautiful Mark. She had gotten so wrapped up in it. Dammit, what has she done? She was just as crazy for Mark as Izzie was for Alex.

"I mean Denny. Not the baby. There's no baby," she replied quickly.

Alex gave her a silly smile and looked at her straight in the eyes and said  
"Izzie, I love you too. I've never stopped loving you, and i never will."

Addison smiled, If only the real Izzie was here.

Alex grabbed her and gave her the deepest, passionate kiss ever, with just the right amount of tongue.

"Alex, I know this sounds rude but I'm not trying to be. But before we get any farther, I need to find Addison. Stay here, I'll be right back."

Addison need to get her man, it was her turn.

♡♡♡

Addison wasted no time in her pursuit to find Izzie and her gorgeous bod. Little did she know that someone else was looking for her too.

George rounded the corner. He was walking funny from hitting his head not only once but twice, but he had to see the gorgeous woman that saved his life. He fell in love with her instantly. Her long red flowing hair. Her perfect long legs. The glasses. She was an angel and he could not shake the memory of the way she looked with rage in her eyes. He had to have her. He hastened his pace from a fast walk to a jog. All the time thinking of the things he would love to do to her. He spotted her. She was walking fast, looking in every direction like she too was looking for someone. Was she looking for me? If this was a whore house, what would the fee be? Questions flooded his mind, but he did not care he knew that he wanted her and wouldn't stop until he had her. He ran up to her and although he was out of breath he proceeded to not say but scream in her face, "I LOVE YOU!"

The woman looked back with utter disgust. She replied, "What? Ew, George! No!."

George was prepared to plea, but why did she call him George?

Suddenly he was tackled from behind. The amazon was back. And George, once again, was unconscious.

♡♡♡

Izzie was now starring down at her best friend as he laid motionless on the floor. Her eyes filled with a mad sense of anger as she watched this beast of a woman continue to sniff George's ass. She knew Callie was weird, but... really?

"Callie!" She readied herself to sidekick the mother fucking amazon in the face but was surprised when she heard Callie's voice echo behind her.

"Did somebody call my... George?! Oh God, Addex! How the fuck did you get out of your cage again?!" Callie quickly pulled a remote control looking object out of her pocket and pointed it at the wild animal who was now in the process of CLAWING poor lifeless George's clothes off. An obvious shock was delivered to the animal via a red blinking brace around her neck. A weird cow-like whimper escaped from Addex's mouth.

"Moooahbulllssnnpufffff..." The bitch of an animal began to quiver and finally fell to the ground next to George.

Callie then placed the remote back in her pants pocket and looked to Addison in order to find out what happened to her boyfriend. But Addison's face was one of utter confusion, like she had no idea who she was, or what was happening around her, trapped inside someone else's body or something along those lines. She thought she better explain before Addison fainted.

"Don't worry Dr. Montgomery. That will keep Addex down for a good 12-hours. And then I can lock her up again and make sure she doesn't claw to death anymore innocent doctors. She tends to get a little out of control. I should have never volunteered for that 'clone yourself into an animal' study. So not worth the free key chain..." She looked to see if the confusion in Addison's eyes had faded a little and she was surprised to see it replaced with an odd look of amusement.

"God Callie. You really are a weird fuck." Izzie scoffed, even though she had to admit... she wasn't the most sane of the bunch. Cutting LVAD's to save the man she loved, currently inhabiting another woman's body just to see her own body passionately entangled in the arms of the other love of her life. Geeze, could life get any weirder?

"Fair enough," Callie replied, kneeling down in an attempt to check George's vitals. After detecting a pulse, she leaned her ear over his face to make sure he was breathing and in that moment, George shot up, his face brutally smashing into Callie's.

"Ass!" Callie brought her hand to her eye as the pain rapidly spread through the rest of her face.

"Tits!" George screamed. His brain desperately grasping to understand where the hell he was, what was happening, and most importantly, why the fuck did he just scream tits?

"Ass n' tits?" Izzie stood over the couple perplexed. George was probably still mid- concussion. "George are you OK?" Her mother instinct kicked in. "Callie... are you OK?" She could already tell a huge bruise was forming around Callie's left eye.

"Ca...ca, Callie?!" George's voice cracked.

"Yes? George? Baby, I'm right here." The minute George had called her name, it was as if his voice was her magical pain reliever. She reached out and gently grabbed George's hand, fixating her gaze on his kind boyish features.

"Callie... oh God! Where have you been? I just had the most fucked up dream." George was panting now, attempting to piece even one event together was impossible. It took all his brain power, whatever little amount he had left, to just remember who he was. But then the flashes of images cascaded through his mind.  
"Sloan! Naked! Oh god... oh God! And Bailey, stripping, she... she was straddling some poor old man on a gurney and... and Lil' John was there! Singing about balls dripping with sweat, oh Lord! And... and some wild clawing animal tried to rape me!Oh Callie! It was such a horrible, horrible dream!"

The stress on George's body began to take over and he collapsed into Callie's arms in uncontrollable sops. Callie and Addison just exchanged looks. If only he knew.

Izzie was happy George was alright, but she thought she should probably leave Callie and him alone to, whatever. She gave Callie an 'I'll be back later' sincere smile and started down the hall to find herself. Literally.

♡♡♡

Izzie was wondering what was happening with Alex and Addison. Had she told him that she loved him? How did he respond? She wished she could have been the one to tell him but as long as he knows that's what's important. Suddenly Izzie's mind began to fill with doubt. What if she couldn't trust Addison like she thought she could? There was the instance with the quints when she cruelly set her up for utter failure. If someone could be that heartless, what now could she be doing with her beloved Alex? Is she taking advantage of the situation? Was she fucking him right now? Izzie began to fill with jealousy. She needed to find them, Alex or Addison, it didn't matter who she just needed to know if Addison could truly be trusted. She paged both of them.

Alex was sitting in the dark on call room. He had an uncontrollable smile. He couldn't believe that he finally just heard the three words he's been wanting to hear for the longest time. "Izzie loves me" he quietly said. "Izzie Stevens loves me." He said louder this time laughing. He felt so alive so happy. The woman he had loved for so long would finally be his. Then his mind drifted to Addison. What would he do? He genuinely cared for her and to hurt her after seeing her be crushed was something he couldn't do. He couldn't easily avoid her either since he worked with her. He was troubled but he knew he wanted Izzie. She was the woman for him. His thoughts were broken when he received a page from Addison herself.

Addison had been looking for Izzie for about 15 minutes now. She was so happy for Alex and Izzie. Even though she had feelings for Alex she just could not compare them to her passion for Mark. He was the man that sent chills up and down her body. That made her weak in the knees and could make and break her so easily. She loved and hated him for that. She would give anything to be able to forget all about him but she knew that wasn't possible. And the sex. OH MY GOD the sex! That man could do things to her body that were unbelievable. She felt a surge of lust running through her veins. Her mind was clouded and she was suddenly somewhere else with Mark, the man that made her so crazy. Her fantasy was abruptly interrupted with an annoying beeping sound. She struggled for about 30 seconds looking for the pager that laid somewhere on Izzie's body thinking "Damn it Stevens, where'd you put it?!"

♡♡♡

Of course it was Izzie paging me. She hides her pager so that I can't find it when she pages me. I sighed. This was definitely a cruel joke. "I want my body back!" a said quietly and exasperatedly.

I swear, the universe is out to get me.

"You want your body back?" Mark asked, his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers. "I happen to like your body, and I don't think you should trade it for whatever you had before. Unless it was better than this."

I sighed. Mark would never change. God, he was hot. I'd almost forgotten how hot he is half naked. I licked my lips and ran my eyes up and down his body. I could feel myself wanting to reach out and run my hands over his perfect stomach. I held my hand back, shocking myself with the thought that Mark was hitting on Izzie, not me. He was hitting on the girl that just told Alex she loves him.

Izzie! Right! "I have to go..." I forced out, as much as I didn't want to pry myself away from this sex god. "... Iz-Addi-Dr. Montgomery paged me."

I noticed that Mark's eyes softened at the mention of my name. "I have to find her too," he said, rocking back on his heels, "We should go together."

Fantastic. Just what I needed. I couldn't handle him being here right now. Not when I wanted to claw his clothes off. Well, at least his boxers, because he wasn't wearing a helluva lot of clothes. "Can't you leave me alone?!" I exploded.

♡♡♡

Alex still sat in place. He couldn't decide if he should wait there for Izzie or answer Addison's page. What did Addison want anyway? She was insatiable and in their last few "encounters" she had acted like she hadn't got any for a while. A woman like that could get anything she wanted. He decided he better stay away from her for a bit.

Addison, in Izzie's body, was still being drooled over by Mark. She had forgotten how persistent and mesmerizing he was. Once again she was getting sucked into his rugged charm and cocky but oh-so-sexy ways. She was forgetting she was locked in another woman's body. She wanted to reach out to him and just let him take her. Mark was smiling at her when he reached down and touched her. It was too much to resist. In one swift movement she pulled Marks mouth to hers and kissed him.

Izzie turned the corner to see a hand on the back of Marks head... a familiar hand. "Oh my God." She thought to herself. "I'm kissing McSteamy!" She giggled and then she realized that half of the staff was looking at the same thing she was. She panicked. Alex will hear about this. Her heart broke and she said in a very Dr. Montgomery type way, "Looks like you've come up with better ways for your interns to serve you than getting coffee and picking up your dry cleaning."

Mark turned instantly wiping his mouth with a guilty expression on his face. "Excuse me, what?" Is all he could manage to say because of the lump that had formed in his throat.

♡♡♡

Mark was fucked. He had just kissed Izzie Stevens in front of about 20 people of the medical staff at SGH. Including Addison. God... what and arrogant, assholish, jerky, son of a bitch he was.

"I agree" said Addison (in Izzie's body) softly.

Ok... Mark thought to himself. He definitely _did not_ say those words out loud. He knew that the Izzie he had just kissed was not Izzie at all. He knew it was Addison... and this is why:

About 1 month after Derek had left Manhattan, and Mark and Addison were living together, an obscure thing had happened. Mark remembered the day clearly. It was 3 in the afternoon. Addie and Mark were at their "It's All About Me, and it's Addictive" Anonymous (IAAMaiAA) meeting when it happened. The peer instructor person was talking:

"In order to not become so full of yourself, like many ex-addicts like me once were, you need to become a part of someone else. Someone you trust. Someone who you would literally be able to share your thoughts with," said the instructor. "I personally chose my wife. But it was a horrible choice. She is now dead, and I can actually hear her dead thoughts. Sometimes she thinks about vampire sex. It is gross and disturbing."

"Anyway, in order to fully overcome your addiction to yourself, you need to be able to share thoughts with other people. I perform the shared-mind procedure myself, and it is harmless. My death rate is only 10 in 10 people."

"Shit Mark...that's like 100 deaths!t" whispered Addie to Mark.

"I could probably do better myself" replied Mark humbly.

"What? No! I bet I could, though!"

The argument continued until the instructor broke them up.

"You guys are a perfect example. Both of you are really cocky, with good reason, but are obviously addicted to yourselves. I think you two would make a good pair for the mind-sharing."

So they got the surgery, and it was the first successful operation the guy had preformed. Now he only had 10 deaths in 12 people.

Back to the present: Mark could not believe what was going on. He knew it was Addie. It had to be. She had heard his thoughts. He thought of the possibilities over and over in his mind.

"It's a fuckin body switch Mark! You are a dumbass," said Addison to Mark (through their thoughts, of course).

"Oh. That's sick. No really. Like sick and twisted. Like Meredith Grey on steroids or something."

It was turning out to be a very crappy and disturbing day. Again, like Meredith Grey on steroids.

♡♡♡

Meredith was sitting with Cristina in the locker room, talking about her problems. (Does she do anything else?)

"Okay, so Derek and I were feeding each other chocolates and then like seriously he seriously gives me a Mint Chocolate one. He knows I hate mint chocolate so he seriously has no excuse."

Cristina absent mindedly nodded, not really paying attention to her friend. She had other things on her mind, other big things.

"I'm like seriously going to dump him now. I mean SERIOUSLY, mint chocolate? SERIOUSLY! And then he got all huggy and his stubble was like SCRATCHING my face, I mean seriously, stubble is so out. Seriously!"

Cristina was only really in the bathroom to see the results of the test she took. The more she listened to Meredith, the more urge she had to throw one of Alex's apples at her head.

"Seriously. So how's it going with Burke? Seriously, I wish Derek was more of a man like Burke, Alex and Mark. Seriously..."

Meredith went on and on. Cristina was used to her asking questions and not waiting for the reply. It had been 3 minutes already, Cristina noticed. She wasn't going to look at the test without Burke by her side, she was sticking and part of sticking is having the man you love look at the one thing that will change your life together.

"...Okay so like seriously. I snore. Seriously, I need tequila right now..." Meredith continued.

It was like magic, just as Cristina was thinking about Burke. He was wearing jeans and beige sweater that made his eyes look like pools of deep dark chocolate.

"Burke, look," Cristina said as she handed him the pregnancy test.

"It's positive..." Burke said. He seemed to be speechless.

"I'm pregnant? I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant!"

"Yes, you are, the future Mrs- I mean, Dr. Burke." Burke said with a smile. He reached for Cristina and hugged her. Then when she pulled away she looked at him and smiled.

"I'm pregnant." She said one last time just to confirm.

He looked at her, smiled once again and kissed her.

While this was all happening, Meredith was still talking.

"...And then I slept with George. Seriously. Then the Chief seriously had an affair with my mother..."

♡♡♡

Mark stared at Izzie, who he now knew was Addison, his face pained with absolute shock. "Addie, oh my goodness, Addie! What the fuck? You're inside Stevens' body!?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "The nasty little wentch tricked me into eating this effed up fortune cookie, and now we've swapped bodies. It's horrible Mark, and we don't know how to get back."

He searched the depths of her eyes with his own, cupping her chin in his hand. "Why didn't you just tell me, huh sugarplum?" he teased, bending down to kiss her lips. Okay well, they weren't HER lips, they were Izzie's, but that didn't matter.

"Mark, I switched bodies with another woman. Would you really have believed me?"

"Of course I would have Addie... your my soulmate, your my everything, I love you."

Addison swallowed hard, willing the tears away from her eyes. "Oh Mark..." she swooned, unable to resist him any longer. She had spent enough time denying her feelings for him.

"Addie, listen to me. This morning, I was going to come over... I was going to say... What I wanted to say was... sigh But now all I can say is that... I'm in love with you. smiles his super hawt McSteamy smile I've been in love with you forever. I'm a little late, I know I'm a little late in telling you that. I, I just, I just want you to take your time, you know? Take all the time you need, because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I--"

"Wait," Addison shook her head, snapping out of swoon-mode, "that sounds oddly familiar."

Mark inconspicuously rolled his eyes back and forth. "Uhhm... I don't know what you, ahh, no it doesn't!" he smiled.

"Yes, yes it does... it's almost like..." Addie's mouth dropped open a little in horror, and she smacked him on the arm. "Mark!" she hissed, "that was DEREK'S speech... his speech to MEREDITH! After he _cheated_ on me!"

Mark laughed awkwardly. "Haha... no it wasn't, what are you talking about sillyface?"

"Umm... episode 3.01? ...in her kitchen?"

"Addison, has body swapping made someone go a little coo-coo-bananas? What do you mean, episode 3.01? Your talking as if our lives are being broadcast on television or something!"

"But.. but... umm," Addison shook her head. "Oh, nevermind."

Mark smiled. That was a close call, he thought to himself. He hadn't thought she'd seen that episode. Shit.

Addie looked up at him happily. "I love you too muffin bum," she giggled. "Wanna go have some hot sex? Izzie has a freaking sweet body. It's so flexible, and her boobs are huge!"

"KAY!" Mark giggled happily, bending down to kiss her.

It just so happened that Alex Karev chose that EXACT moment to leave the oncall room, the EXACT moment when he was at the EXACT right spot to see Mark, and who he thought was Izzie, making out in the middle of the hall.

"WHORE!" he screamed, his fists clenching tightly. What the FUCK was going on here? Izzie and Mark broke their kiss, and Izzie turned to face him.

"YOU!" he pointed fiercely at her, approaching them. He could feel the anger boiling in his blood. This bitch had put him through hell and back, and now, it was all just too much.

"You have some nerve. First, you leave me for a fucking corpse. Then you bitch me out about it. Then I save you from looking even MORE crazy than you already did at prom by letting you cry all your mascara goop onto my brand new shirt while you blubbered on and on about your poor dead fiancé. Oh, and then you fucking repay me by rejecting you when I try to kiss you.

HELLO! Alex fucking Karev DOES NOT GET REJECTED! He doesn't CARE! He doesn't talk about ooey-gooey feelings and puppies and rainbows and all that other shit you like, but I did all that for you! I fucking wait for you, and just when I'm trying to get over you by hooking up with Addison, you ruin that too. You kiss me right in front of her, run off, then tell me YOU LOVE ME! Wow, and I was stupid enough to believe you.

You know I was actually happy, for the first time in months I was actually fucking happy. Then not even five minutes later, your out in the hall whoring it up with this STD-factory. Well FUCK YOU IZZIE STEVENS YOU CRAZY BITCH! You need to get your hot blonde ass back to the land of the crazy LVAD cutters, cause I am fucking DONE with you."

After concluding his long and winded rant, a furiously pissed off Alex turned around and fumed down the hallway. That's it. He was done. Izzie had broken his heart for the last time. He was gonna go find Addison, slut it up with her, and forget all about that hot, amazing, sweet, wondering, perfect, makes-his-world-stop, blonde bitch. Enough was enough.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Part 6

* * *

Alex was enraged. In no more than 30 minutes he had been to cloud nine and back down to hell again. What had he done to deserve this? Was this cruel payback for all the meaningless relationships he had? For all the hearts he had broken? He walked faster, hands clenched, ready to kill something, anything, that crossed his path.

Izzie, in Addison's body, went chasing after him. "Alex wait! I can explain! Please let me explain." She begged with tears coming to her eyes. She didn't know what she could say, but she had to try.

Alex wondered what the hell could Addison explain? But even he knew that if there was something better than killing something to dull the pain, it was sex. He turned to meet her with clenched teeth to see the gorgeous woman with tears running down her cheeks. "Addison, what's wrong? Oh shit, Mark kissing Izzie. I'm sorry. Let's get out of here, Wanna?" Alex asked gently.

"I just need to explain what's been going on. I'm gonna sound crazy, but you have to try to understand. Okay Alex?" Izzie responded.

"Okay, well can we talk about it at my place?" Alex was getting a little impatient.

Izzie was amazed. Not once had he even mentioned anything about going to his house before even when they were a couple. She wanted to so bad but she knew that she couldn't, not until he knew the truth. She shook her head no as she said "Alex, lets talk here. We need to talk now."

Alex didn't like her answer. He just wanted to get the hell out of SGH. Far away from the woman that broke his heart in little pieces. He winced as he thought of her, about how much he loved her. He needed a distraction. He didn't just want to talk. "Addison!" he blew up in her face. He realized what he had done and instantly wanted to take it back when he had seen the look on her face. He quickly said "I'm sorry. Can we please just leave?" Izzie began to smile. "What the fuck!" he thought to himself, "Why is she smiling? "

Izzie began to laugh. When Alex had called her Addison it made everything so humorous. "Sorry, Sorry." she said. "Alex, I'm not Addison." She said still laughing.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Alex retorted with a puzzled look on his face. "This bitch really is a crazy one" he thought to himself.

Izzie still nervously laughing explained, "It's me, Izzie! Addison and I switched bodies."

This was too much for Alex to take, he was not in the mood for games. "Okay, you belong in a fucking loony bin, and I'm leaving." He said as he turned and started walking towards the elevator.

♡♡♡

Alex Karev was really, really, extremely, undoubtedly, amazingly pissed off. Addison, Izzie, Sloane, fuck 'em all. He had lived his whole life without girlfriends, and he sure as hell didn't need to start now. He vaguely wondered if that orgy-waiting-to-happen group of hot nurses were still waiting by the station for him. He licked his lips, thinking maybe it was time to film a "Nasty Naughty Nurses #5". Suddenly, he felt a smidgeon of anger melt away as he skipped to the locker-room to get ready.

But once he arrived at the room, something ever weirder happened. Cristina Yang was SMILING gasps and, OMFG, was that a rock on her finger?

"What's up with you?" he asked, unable to control his curiosity.

"Uhhm, what's up with me?" she retorted, "Evil Spawn, puh-lease. Your the one busting in here naked being all 'what's up with you'."

Alex looked down. Wow, he was infact, still naked. He took the hint and scuttled over to his locker, sliding a pair of Seven jeans over his gorgeous ass.

Cristina, of course, snuck a peek while she watched Alex change. Sure, he was Evil Spawn, but he was still undeniably hot. No one could deny how gorgeous he was. No one. The man looked like he was a Calvin Klein model in some sort of alternate universe or something. But Cristina scolded herself, quickly remembering she was a soon-to-be wife and mother now. She couldn't do things like stare at hot boy's asses in the locker room.

Unable to contain herself, Cristina blurted out, "So.. what's up with me is that, um, meandBurkearekindaofengagedandhavingababy."

Alex blinked. "What? Did you just say you were having a fucking BABY?" Alex thought, for certain, that this day could not get any weirder. There was no possible way. But of course, he was proven wrong again as a screaming George & Callie burst through the locker room.

"Help!" Callie screamed. "It's Addex... she got lose! OMFG, who will save us? Who, I ask you? WHO?"

"Addex?" Alex asked, "isn't that like, me and Addison's name put together?"

Cristina rolled her eyes. "Oh please, you kiss in a bar one time, and now you think your fucking Brangelina over here."

Alex shot her a dirty look before turning back to O'Callie, who also seemed to think they were Brangelina. "Well, whose Addex then?"

Suddenly, another Callie burst into the room. Only it was nothing like Callie at all. It was a wild beast, running around on all fours and nipping at George's appetizing heels. "Nooo!!!" George screamed, and he ran behind Alex and ducked for cover. "Don't let it get me."

Alex didn't know what came over him. Maybe it was the built up frustrations of the day, maybe it was the fact that the beast stole him and Addison's cute shipper name, or maybe it was because George was so scared he was about to pee his pants, and Alex really didn't want it to go all over him (these were new jeans, after all), but something inside him snapped. "Imma knife that fucking beast," he screamed.

Right on cue, Cristina threw him a dagger, and Alex jumped down off the bench, prepared to fight. "You wanna dance, bitch?" he hissed at Addex, preparing himself to attack.

♡♡♡

Addison, Mark, and Izzie stood silently in the same place Alex had left them. Izzie looking at the floor wondering what she could do to fix the mess she had created. She was so mad at Addison but she couldn't injure her own body, so she would just have to work with her to figure out how to switch back.

Izzie turned abruptly furiously yelling, "What the fuck is wrong with you? You ruined everything!"

Addison could not believe what she was hearing, "What are you talking about? You are the one who gave me the magical fortune cookie and trapped me in you! Do you think I wanted to be walking around looking like a ditzy blonde, with split ends, and cheap ass shoes. Come on Izzie, you can't be that stupidly insane."

Izzie got over not wanting to hurt her own body and swiftly rushed towards Addison ready to kick her own ass. "I'm gonna kill you." She screamed.

Mark quickly stepped between them. "Ladies, ladies, please. This isn't how it has to be. I have something that will help." he said coyly. He pulled out a small vile filled with a thick white substance.

"What the fuck is that?" Izzie said in disgust.

"It's a potion, I told you. It will help. Drink it." He said seriously.

Addison knew he was being genuine by the tone in his voice so she nodded to Izzie and said, "He's telling the truth Steven's. It's worth a shot."

"Fine" Izzie said, "But that better not be what it looks like."

Mark removed the cap from the small bottle. And handed it to Addison first, trying to stay in her view.

Addison had a worried look on Izzie's face but she had to do it. She closed her eyes, put it to her mouth, and took a sip. The taste was very familiar, salty... yesm it was very familiar. She then realized what it was. Mark had bottled his cum. "Sick fuck." she screamed, eyes still closed tight.

Izzie pushed Mark. "What Addison? What's wrong?" Wondering what was just injected in her body.

Addison opened her eyes to see herself. She was so beautiful. Oh my God, what great hair. Her eyes. Her lips. Her fabulous legs. She instantly fell in love.

Mark yelled, "No Addison! Look at me cupcake. Look at me!" It was too late. She had already looked at Izzie, in Addison's body.

Addison was staring wildly at Izzie. Izzie started to feel uncomfortable and asked Mark, "What did you give her? Why is she looking at me like that?"

Mark stuttered as he tried to explain what he had done. "I.. I just gave her some of my secret love potion. No one knows this, but my jiz has magical powers to make women fall in love with me after they swallow it and look up at me. Um.. It will wear off in about 4 hours."

♡♡♡

"Fo... four hours!!!" Izzie stammered, "She will be in love with me for four _hours_!!!"

"Well actually Izzie, she will be in love with _herself_ for four hours. Because technically you are in her body, so she is not in love with _you_, but just her body," explained Mark.

"Omg... that, like, makes it like sooo much more complicated," said Izzie, in her ditzy-blondish way of, like, speaking "I mean, like, _infinitely_ times more complicated."

"I don't give a shit about you, Izzie, I just care about my Addison," Mark said, in his 'I really want a bone-dry capp. right fucking now' tone.

Then, Mark realized something (For, like, the first time ever).

"Oh shit. Since my Addison is in your body, and you are in hers, from the outsiders perspective it looks like you are in love with Addison!" screamed Mark to Izzie.

"Haha... wait... ooooo... I get it!" Izzie managed to reply.

"Wow… now if we only had Alex... then we would make a REALLY hot foursome... Maddisexie," said Mark, who actually came up with another thought by himself.

"Wow Mark… you're totally right! Like Brangelina... but not!" replied the oh-so-bouncy Izzie.

This whole conversation between Mark and Izzie happened while Addison kept trying to make a move on Izzie; well, her self actually. So whilst Izzie was pushing Addison away, Mark was having these raunchy ideas about a foursome. Except for Addison heard the words "hot foursome" come out of Mark's mouth, and she actually said something.

"By foursome... you mean 4, right?" said Addison.

"Wow Addie... your making me look stupid!" said Izzie.

"But... you are Addie too! Right? And I love me, so you must love me too," replied the oh-so-confused Addison.

"Dude... I'm like 'oh-so-confused'" said Mark... in a 'I'm oh-so-confused' tone.

"Whatever Mark. But since Addison loves herself, you love Addison, I love Alex, and hopefully Alex likes me, that would make an awesome foursome!!!" Izzie replied.

"Except if you like Alex, and Addie likes Addie, who am I left with?" Mark said.

"Um... I guess its just you and your bottle of 'potion'!" said Izzie, smiling at her creative reply.

Yes, that meant that it would be Mark and... Mark. But that was pretty normal for him.

♡♡♡

Izzie was getting bored of talk of foursome's and such. She had more important things to do, like find Alex, for instance, and convince him that she wasn't the one who kissed Mark. She felt defeated already. How could she possibly explain to him what happened? 'She was only a ditzy blonde afterall', she thought to herself.

At the same moment that she was thinking that, Addison popped up out of no where to get inches from her face and shyly say, "Hi." Her blonde hair bounced around as she giggled and batted her eyes.

That's when Izzie realized she wasn't blonde anymore. She was a fierce red head, with powerful shoes, and a kick ass body. She instantly felt relieved. She looked up and smiled at Addison who was staring at her with a wild look in her eye.

"I always knew I was beautiful. I always knew I had a gorgeous body, and fabulous hair. I always knew I had a wonderfully smoky voice, and the best legs out of anyone in the world. I was always in love with myself. But right now, in this moment, I love me more than ever," said Addison, still staring deep into her own eyes.

Izzie laughed nervously. She was frightened by this look. She felt as though at any moment Addison would jump her own body with Izzie inside. "Mark!" Izzie yelled as she frantically looked in every direction for the sick fuck that caused this. He was no where to be found. That's when instinct cut in, she looked at Addison and said "Do you want to go somewhere? Somewhere private?"

Addison shook Izzie's head anxiously.

"Okay, go wait in the on call room, and I'll be there in 5 minutes. I just need to freshen up." Izzie said convincingly.

Addison wasted no time, practically running down the hall.

Izzie acted like she was going toward the bathroom until she heard the door Addison had opened shut behind her. That's when she ran.

♡♡♡

As soon as Alex stepped out of the locker room, freshly showered and very exhausted after fighting Addex, he noticed a frantic Addison run quite ungracefully towards him. Great, he thought, just what he needed.

"Look, Addie, I can't deal with this right now. Frankly, you women are all completely nuts. So if you'll excuse me, I just want to go join the orgy of nurses out in the hall and get some fucking sex, because you two have been teasing me all day and I've got wicked blue balls and--"

"Alex," she said, cutting him off. "I'm sorry about before okay, but please, you have to help me! I have no idea what to do. Addis-- I mean, Izzie, she's in love with me!"

"Addie look I know it's hard to let go but you hav---- what!?! Did you just say Izzie was in love with you? What the fuck? First that Denny freak, then Mark, and now you?"

"Yeah! Look you have to help me, she's following me around the hospital trying to sex me up."

Alex smirked, a genius plan forming inside his head. "Oh, don't worry Addie, I'll protect you. Why don't you just come with me..." he said evilly, pulling out his Sidekick to text Mark. But, to his dismay, there was already a text from Mark waiting for him.

_Alex,_ it read, _Izzie wants to get it on with Addison! I've got the video camera all set up. Meet me in the on-call room where we double-teamed that nurse last week. -Mark_

Oh, leave it to Mark to read Alex's mind like that. "C'mon babe," he smirked at Addie, "I've got a great place for you to hide." He wrapped an arm around her and led her down the hall.

---------------------

Upon reaching the specified on-call room, Izzie (in Addie's body) was surprised to see Mark and Addison in the room already. Alex and Mark were giggling like 5th grade boys who just saw sideboob for the first time, and Izzie knew something was up. Then she saw the video camera in the corner of the room, and both boys ran over to it.

"Alex," she hissed, "you fucking piece of shit traitor!"

"Sorry babe," he replied, obviously overjoyed. Addison was licking her lips and staring her own body down hungrily.

"Okay fuck, I know you guys like porn, but I'm about to be raped by MYSELF here! Can we think of the emotional scarring this will do to me?"

Alex was too busy playing with the camera to listen to a word she said, but even Mark, the horniest whore at SGH, felt bad for Izzie. This was unfair too her. "Okay, your right, we can't do this,"

"Thank you!" Izzie exclaimed, "I mean gosh, I've been through enough haven't I? My _fiancé_ just died!!"

"Oh my god," Mark's expression changed from that of compassion to one of disgust in mere seconds. "What the fuck? What is wrong with you? First of all, he was your fiancé for like 4 hours. Second, you knew him for like 3 weeks. It's been months Izzie, get over it. You're such a whiny little brat. I felt bad for you, I was gonna let you go, but now forget it. God," Mark spat.

"Holy shit dude," Alex smirked, "we are gonna make millions off this. Do you know how many Iddie shippers there are on Seriously, we are gonna be kings when this gets leaked onto the internet."

Addison, not being able to control her urges for the gorgeous red-headed goddess in front of her any longer, jumped towards Izzie. Izzie tried to escape, dodging Addison and she swiped at her. She ran across the room, and unfortunately, fell in the heels yet again. Before she could get back up, Addison was on top of her, filled with lust.

Addison slowly moved her body on top of Izzie, sliding her fingers into her gorgeous red locks and staring deeply and lustfully into her eyes.

"Ohmyfuckinggod," Alex and Mark said in unison from the corner of the room as they watched. "This is the best moment of my life."

Finally, Addison bent down and kissed Izzie, hard, while Alex and Mark desperately tried not to cream their pants right then and there. But as soon as their lips met, something amazing happened. It was like through their mouths, a bridge was created that they needed this whole time and they slipped back into their own bodies.

♡♡♡

"Stevens? What the hell?" Addison said while pushing Izzie off of her.

Pushing IZZIE off of her. That's when she realized something. She quickly reached for her hair. It was soft, with no spilt ends and it was red. Red. She had red hair. Maybe this wasn't real. If she looked down on her feet and her black three inch BCBG pumps weren't there then she was back to her amazing self. She looked down.

They were there, her shoes, were there. She quickly stood off of the on-call room bed and tripped. I, Addison Montgomery, Goddess of SGH, don't trip, she thought to herself. But that's what happens when you switch form 3 inch pumps to Wal-Mart flats and back in one day.

A hand reached down to help her up. Marks hand. A soon as she grabbed it, a sudden electricity went through their bodies. They had learned at their meetings back in New York that once you feel that electricity with someone, that you should be with them forever.

As he was helping her up, Addison and Mark looked at each other and telepathically said "we need to talk" at the same time.

Addison smiled and hugged him and they walked out hand in hand.

Meanwhile, Alex had just sat down next to Izzie next to her on the bed.

"Iz. We need to talk."

* * *


End file.
